tofu w beans

this recipe is for idiots... really.  excuse me, i meant this recipe is for dummies, dummy, whatever.

i realize what the problem with “going on a diet” is: trying to lose weight you gained in a year or two in a week or two!  if that isn’t the stupidest thing a rational human being can do.  that – to my mind – is suicide and largely the reason why diets fail.  but alas! we are like... hmm, i lost the thought. 

another reason why diets fail is when our appetite gets the better of us, or rather the number of times we allow our appetites to get the better of us.  just last week i had to give in to my appetite.  i love lechon paksiw, it’s my favourite dish.  whenever and wherever i find lechon paksiw sold or served, i am suckered and hapless, swallowing hook, line, sinker, rod and fisherman!  but i am not on a diet so the chances of the diet failing is highly improbable and close to nill.  sometimes there is a real advantage in being a mathematician (or a statistician.)

at any rate, i have made up my mind not to try to lose the weight i gained over the past year and some months in a week or so, no, not even in a month.  my goal (today) is to lose ahm 20 pounds in 100 days.  okay, okay, 16 pounds; hmm, that would make me roughly less than 16 lbs in 100 days since i started to change my eating habits.

there you have it, straight from the bee’s hive, the ant’s hill, the horse’s mouth – the secret to losing weight: a change in eating habits.  100 days they say is the number of days to achieve system overhaul, where your body has well adjusted to your new eating habits somewhere in your basal ganglia, hmm...

the date to watch: june 8, 2012.

the weight to watch: 16 lbs less (hopefully more than 16 lbs less!)

100 grams baguio beans (as we call it)

250 grams tofu

desired dressing (or vinegarette)

slice baguio beans into 1-1/2 inch segments (make diagonal cuts)

heat 500 ml water in a saucepan

when tiny bubbles appear, dance the hu-ki-lao...  no, quasimodo!

when tiny bubbles appear, immerse beans and simmer for 3 minutes.  *yawn*

remove baguio beans from water and drain.   *yawn*

or you can nuke the beans in a nuclear (pronounced “nyook-kilær” by george w bush) microwave oven for about the same time.  still *yawn*

deep fry tofu cubes until golden brown.  *yawn*

drain.  *yawn*

arrange on a plate and drizzle with desired dressing.  *yawn*

serve with boiled sweet potato (kamote) and top tofu with shredded carrots.

“zzzzzzzzzzzzz...”  *snore*

good eat!

tofu soba

this recipe was inspired by a post in google+ by an old classmate and friend named jim ayson.   he’d just come from spain, and having got tired of the vegetarian fare there the first thing he digged at upon arriving here since its more fun in the philippines was a “tofu soba” which i presume is a vegan fare, jim being a vegan.  this “tofu soba” recipe i post is simply a crude creation (read: imbento) of mine and is really a far cry from jim's post.

i am not vegan, and this is... american idol.  ahaha, i meant this is not vegan, this “tofu soba”,  it’s quasi-vegetarian.  it would have passed as a vegan dish had it not been for the dumplings (actually squid balls; and there are lobster balls, and tuna balls, and what have you dumplings to dump into your soups to give it richer flavour.)  take away the dumplings this dish would pass as vegan.  but for now it’s quasi-vegetarian.

quasi-vegetarian yah similar to quasi-judicial and quasi-political which is the senate impeachment trial of chief justice renato corona; which as the expert political analysts and legal luminaries say is neither judicial nor political but both and sui generis *scratches head*;  which are quasi-vegetarians which are vegetarians that are not vegetarians and both.

so this quasi-vegetarian “tofu soba” is a vegetarian dish and not a vegetarian dish both at the same time; which is neither mathematically nor statistically improbable.  go figure.

i can actually prove that 2 = 1... probably later.

you might need the following:

250 grams fresh soba noodles

450 grams firm tofu, cut into 1 inch cubes

250 grams dumplings (optional)

250 grams pechay tagalog

100 grams carrots, cut diagonally into wedges

50 grams spring onions, chopped

2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 medium onion, sliced and diced, or merely sliced

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

salt to taste

added seasoning (optional)

1. soak, wash and drain noodles.

2. fry tofu cubes in canola oil until color turns very slightly.  drain.  set aside.

3. in a wok, saute garlic and toast slightly.

4. add onions and cook until tender.

5. pour 750-1000 ml water into wok and boil.

6. add noodles, dumplings, pechay, carrots, spring onions, cumin, black pepper, cayenne pepper, salt and seasoning.  bring mixture to a boil then simmer until liquid is reduced to a thick broth and the flavours of the ingredients are drawn out.

7. serve in bowls.  top with tofu cubes and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.  serves 10 midget, 3 giant, or about 5 regular-sized tummies.

 

good eat!  ...or eat good! ?

4 easy steps to homemade seitan

2-chili seitan shitake saute

seitan.  i dread how that sounds however you pronounce it.  it’s like voldemort.  ahm, anyway, seitan, which was more popularly known to us long, long ago as TVP (textured vegetable protein) and long ago as vege-meat, is referred to in vegan blogs sometimes as wheat meat, meat substitute, or vital gluten.  it is a very common meat substitute in many vegan recipes since it is believed to supply a good amount of protein which purportedly is lacking in a vegan diet.

i coined the tagalog word harne from harinang karne (wheat meat).  very suitable word, ano?  it is a phonetically softened down form of the harder guttural karne (animal meat).

ok, to make seitan, you will need:

½ kilo hard flour (bread flour)

½ tsp cumin

½ tsp paprika

¼ tsp cayenne

300-350 ml tap water

(this recipe will yield ¼ kilo seitan enough for a dish or two of stir-fry or saute w/ or w/o accompaniment.)

note:

- if you can buy vital gluten flour, or vital wheat flour, just follow easy steps #1 & #4. 

- all-purpose flour will do but it contains less protein.  it also absorbs less water, so reduce the amount of water by about 50-100 ml.

- whole wheat flour contains too little vital gluten so it isn’t ideal to use in making seitan.

ok, here goes...

easy step #1 - mix flour, spices and water. 

mix the flour, spices and water.  could anything be easier?  you could even ask your 3-year old child to do this step for you.  

use a wooden spoon (initially) to mix the flour and spices with the water.  as the mixture forms into a dough it gets heavier and harder to mix with the wooden spoon.  scrape everything that stuck to the wooden spoon with a spatula or rubber scraper back to the dough mixture. 

ok, time to use your hands and fingers.  massage (knead) the entire dough all round for about 3-5 minutes.  yah, it could be sticky.  note: if you have a heavy duty (e.g. 4qt, 5qt or 6qt) table-top electric mixer with a dough hook, like i do :))) just dump all the ingredients in the bowl and crank at low to medium speed for about a minute or two.  

ok, this is needless, but you could use some lard, margarine or oil on your hands so the dough won’t stick.  ahm, that was needless because you could rinse and drop all the dough that stuck to your hands right back to the mother dough, underwater.

go to easy step #2.

easy step #2 - soak the dough in water.  

place the dough in a deep bowl or basin, or a small gallon or pail (1-2 gallon capacity) and fill with water.  this step is for dummies!  leave it for a couple of hours and forget all about it for the meantime. 

no, it won’t froth and overflow the bowl and fill your house.  and no, it won’t climb out of the bowl and gobble up your dog and all your furniture. 

soaking in the water takes away the hi-carb starch from within the dough leaving you with the hi-pro gluten that you need.

go to easy step #3

easy step #3 - rinse the dough in water. 

before you throw the soak-water away, gently handle the dough (which has now softened into a gooey, slimy blubber gum) from the bottom of the basin with both hands, making sure that all the blob bits that have loosened away are reunited to the mother blob.  this is child’s play! 

pour out all the soak-water, making sure no more loose amorphous blobs pour out with the water.

now, fill up the basin again with water.  turn the gooey, slimy blubber gum inside out under water, gently pressing, rolling and stretching the blubber with your fingers and palms.  similar to what you do with bubble gum, chewing it with your teeth, rolling it in your mouth and stretching it with your tongue; only, you do this with your hands and fingers.  more fun and exciting than play-dough, right?!  you are now beginning to feel sleepy... ahm, where was i?  i mean, your are now beginning to feel how soft, smooth and elastic your gluten is.

repeat easy step #3 about 3-5 times or until the rinse-water becomes clear or slightly clear.  this is where you shape your future, ahm, i mean your seitan.  underwater.  wow!  could you really do that?  ahm, slowly and gently (at every repeat) bring the mass of blubber gum (less gooey and slimy now but still very elastic) to the shape you would want your seitan to take final form. 

seitan slabs (after simmering)

i shape my seitan like an elongated burger patty, ½ in. flat, 4 in. wide and a foot long (like a thin slab of sirloin beef) then cut it in the middle before simmering.  this way, after it’s done, i can easily slice it into strips for stir-fries and sautes. 

you see how much hi-carb starch you have removed from your dough?  i haven’t tried it yet, but this step had gotten me to thinking – can i use all that rinse-water to starch my levi’s?

go to easy step #4.

easy step #4 - simmer the dough in water. 

simmer the dough in, ahm, flavored water.  fill a saucepan with about 1 liter of water mixed with 1 Tbsp soy sauce, 1 Tbsp catsup and 1 clove garlic (and 1 Tbsp of whatever vegan-friendly powder or liquid flavoring you use.)  well, almost everybody who makes seitan and has a blog will invariably tell you to do this.  so why not i?  ok maybe not almost everybody, but almost everybody of the 3 blogs i read, awright?  :)))

bring the soup to a slow simmer using low heat.  now, gently lower the gluten slab in the simmering solution with your hands or with a slotted spoon.  simmer for about 5-15 minutes or until the gluten slab floats. 

will it float?  will it float?  yah, it will float!  and when it floats, your seitan’s done!  that easy! 

now, download a recipe that uses seitan and you’re on your way to an exciting adventure in seitan cooking!

the tofu burger

don't we all love burgers? who wouldn't want a plateful of burgers, mini-burgers?

ahm, but these mini-burgers aren't your regular hamburgers, made from 100% pure beef, they're tofu burgers made with immortal tofu (450 grams tofu)

plus these health-friendly and nutritious ingredients, mushrooms, nuts and spices; low in bad cholesterol and fats, high in protein and fiber.

1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup cashew or walnuts
1/2 cup sunflower nuts
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp soy sauce
1 Tbsp dijon mustard
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp fine salt
2 eggs or 100 g raw seitan (wheat gluten)* for vegans

ahm, i love doing things the old-fashioned way; mash the tofu with a manual masher, grind the nuts with a mortar and pestle, and chop down the mushrooms into fine smithereens. and then finally mixing the whole mashable conglomeration with your bare (yes, washed and clean) hands. this way you can feel the grainy pooey pass through your fingers, it's a bit like when you pick up a handful of wet dripping sand along the beach shore, only more gross.

yah, you could also do it dump-all-ingredients-in-the-food-processor-fashioned way, which is another (ahm, the original) way of getting it done.

ok, this is how the mashed tofu will look like after mashing.

and this is how the whole mass of grainy pooey will look like after about 5-10 minutes of hand-and-finger mixing.

what's left to do is to heat a griddle, or a flat frying pan, drop a patty ball (which you have formed by rolling the patty mass against your palms) onto the hot griddle, press it flat and round with a frying ladle, and grill it until it browns (for both sides.)

it's all up to you if you want to make mini-burgers, double-layer, triple-decker, or quarter-pounder burger sandwiches. or simply a salisbury steak with mushroom gravy, boiled green beans and mashed potatoes.

it's only your creativity that can limit the things you can do with the tofu burger :)))

* raw seitan (wheat gluten) - mix 250 grams of all-purpose (or bread) flour with 200 ml water. knead until the dough holds together (it might be a bit sticky, but it will do.) soak the dough in tap water for an hour or so (the water will look cloudy and whitish.) after this time, rinse the dough in tap water about two to three times or until the water runs clear. as you rinse the dough, continue kneading it with your hand and fingers to continue forming the gluten.

about monkey food

monkey food. yeah, that’s right. uhm, it’s actually the shortened form of the monkey, rabbit, squirrel, tiger digest. the monkey, rabbit, squirrel, tiger digest is admittedly too long for comfort. thus, monkey food.

digest. well, this is what we, as well as monkeys, rabbits, squirrels and tigers do with food after eating. yeah, we all digest our food.

my mother used to tell us when we were too young to dispute her wisdom,

for breakfast eat like a king, for lunch eat like a prince, and for dinner eat like a pauper.

my wife still usually tells me the same thing; which she too (in all probability) heard from her wise folks. the downside of this is that, once you eat like a king for breakfast, you want to eat like a king for lunch and dinner - all day.

monkey food is about eating a monkey breakfast, a rabbit lunch, a squirrel snack and a tiger dinner. not strictly, of course.

a monkey breakfast. what does a monkey eat? ask any adult or even a 6-year old child, and you will invariably get the same answer – bananas. that’s it, basically. i eat bananas for breakfast. or bananas could be a symbolism that stands for the whole fruit group. uhm, so i also eat papaya, apples, oranges and whatever fruit is locally or easily available to me, whether at the public market near our home, or at the supermarket whenever i have the chance to go to metromanila.

a rabbit lunch. i heard it before from an aunt of a friend. the aunt was telling her neice (who was then on a diet) to go on a rabbit diet, that is, eat lots of veggies, green leafy veggies, and, i suppose what bugs rabbit eats (or is it bugs bunny?) - carrots. now i have to google that - what’s the difference between a rabbit and a bunny. uhm, but what i eat is not entirely all veggies, but i eat veggies for lunch. not raw veggies, but cooked veggies. well, raw veggies when i make a simple salad. not all veggies, but veggies either with tofu, mushrooms, beans or seitan.

a squirrel snack. i am going nuts. yeah, that’s right. uhm, i’m not going crazy or sumthin. i’m going nuts for snacks, in-betweens or before and after meal nibbles. i’m not really a fanatic diet freak. i love nibbling, nibbling on chips (or chi-chi as we love to call it) especially during most informal moments, with my wife and kids or while watching TV, chatting, or just sitting around thinking about limitless possibilities. thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box inciting and inviting me, says a line in a popular beatles' song.

peanuts, of course, are the most readily available, most ubiquitous nut of all. you can find it everywhere you go in metromanila, in street corners, in sari-sari stores, in bus depots, and in supermarkets, almost everywhere.

there are a variety of nuts you can nibble besides peanuts; cashew, pili, almonds, sunflowers, walnuts and some more. of course, some nuts are more expensive and harder to come by than others, which is stating the obvious.  but the biggest nut... is the coconut!

a tiger dinner. what in the world is a tiger dinner? it’s quite simple, really. what does a tiger eat? uhm, well, a tiger eats the monkey, the rabbit, and the squirrel including everything that the monkey, the rabbit and the squirrel had eaten. yeah, that’s right. it’s sort of my 10% license to eat anything other than bananas, carrots and nuts, that is good for your body, like tofu, mushrooms, beans or seitan. a tiger dinner could include sunday lunches with family or friends.

we attend church at calvary reformed evangelical church every sunday, and three times a month many of the members and attendees bring and eat lunch together, and once a month there is a church sponsored luncheon. these lunches are hardly vegetarian lunches, pork and chicken are almost always a fare in these lunches. this is included in my tiger dinner digest.  (the once-a-month sponsored lunches have been replaced by a regular every-now-and-then saturday potluck luncheon --- apr.11, 2014)

well, basically, i am vegetarian. i am not vegan. i don’t think i can keep up with being vegan, well, at least at the moment or at this stage i am in. i cook vegan dishes, uhm, food that vegans can eat. many of the recipes that appear in this blog are vegan. the others are vegetarian.  the rest, nah!

--- updated apr.11, 2014.