tofu w beans

this recipe is for idiots... really.  excuse me, i meant this recipe is for dummies, dummy, whatever.

i realize what the problem with “going on a diet” is: trying to lose weight you gained in a year or two in a week or two!  if that isn’t the stupidest thing a rational human being can do.  that – to my mind – is suicide and largely the reason why diets fail.  but alas! we are like... hmm, i lost the thought. 

another reason why diets fail is when our appetite gets the better of us, or rather the number of times we allow our appetites to get the better of us.  just last week i had to give in to my appetite.  i love lechon paksiw, it’s my favourite dish.  whenever and wherever i find lechon paksiw sold or served, i am suckered and hapless, swallowing hook, line, sinker, rod and fisherman!  but i am not on a diet so the chances of the diet failing is highly improbable and close to nill.  sometimes there is a real advantage in being a mathematician (or a statistician.)

at any rate, i have made up my mind not to try to lose the weight i gained over the past year and some months in a week or so, no, not even in a month.  my goal (today) is to lose ahm 20 pounds in 100 days.  okay, okay, 16 pounds; hmm, that would make me roughly less than 16 lbs in 100 days since i started to change my eating habits.

there you have it, straight from the bee’s hive, the ant’s hill, the horse’s mouth – the secret to losing weight: a change in eating habits.  100 days they say is the number of days to achieve system overhaul, where your body has well adjusted to your new eating habits somewhere in your basal ganglia, hmm...

the date to watch: june 8, 2012.

the weight to watch: 16 lbs less (hopefully more than 16 lbs less!)

100 grams baguio beans (as we call it)

250 grams tofu

desired dressing (or vinegarette)

slice baguio beans into 1-1/2 inch segments (make diagonal cuts)

heat 500 ml water in a saucepan

when tiny bubbles appear, dance the hu-ki-lao...  no, quasimodo!

when tiny bubbles appear, immerse beans and simmer for 3 minutes.  *yawn*

remove baguio beans from water and drain.   *yawn*

or you can nuke the beans in a nuclear (pronounced “nyook-kilær” by george w bush) microwave oven for about the same time.  still *yawn*

deep fry tofu cubes until golden brown.  *yawn*

drain.  *yawn*

arrange on a plate and drizzle with desired dressing.  *yawn*

serve with boiled sweet potato (kamote) and top tofu with shredded carrots.

“zzzzzzzzzzzzz...”  *snore*

good eat!

tofu soba

this recipe was inspired by a post in google+ by an old classmate and friend named jim ayson.   he’d just come from spain, and having got tired of the vegetarian fare there the first thing he digged at upon arriving here since its more fun in the philippines was a “tofu soba” which i presume is a vegan fare, jim being a vegan.  this “tofu soba” recipe i post is simply a crude creation (read: imbento) of mine and is really a far cry from jim's post.

i am not vegan, and this is... american idol.  ahaha, i meant this is not vegan, this “tofu soba”,  it’s quasi-vegetarian.  it would have passed as a vegan dish had it not been for the dumplings (actually squid balls; and there are lobster balls, and tuna balls, and what have you dumplings to dump into your soups to give it richer flavour.)  take away the dumplings this dish would pass as vegan.  but for now it’s quasi-vegetarian.

quasi-vegetarian yah similar to quasi-judicial and quasi-political which is the senate impeachment trial of chief justice renato corona; which as the expert political analysts and legal luminaries say is neither judicial nor political but both and sui generis *scratches head*;  which are quasi-vegetarians which are vegetarians that are not vegetarians and both.

so this quasi-vegetarian “tofu soba” is a vegetarian dish and not a vegetarian dish both at the same time; which is neither mathematically nor statistically improbable.  go figure.

i can actually prove that 2 = 1... probably later.

you might need the following:

250 grams fresh soba noodles

450 grams firm tofu, cut into 1 inch cubes

250 grams dumplings (optional)

250 grams pechay tagalog

100 grams carrots, cut diagonally into wedges

50 grams spring onions, chopped

2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 medium onion, sliced and diced, or merely sliced

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

salt to taste

added seasoning (optional)

1. soak, wash and drain noodles.

2. fry tofu cubes in canola oil until color turns very slightly.  drain.  set aside.

3. in a wok, saute garlic and toast slightly.

4. add onions and cook until tender.

5. pour 750-1000 ml water into wok and boil.

6. add noodles, dumplings, pechay, carrots, spring onions, cumin, black pepper, cayenne pepper, salt and seasoning.  bring mixture to a boil then simmer until liquid is reduced to a thick broth and the flavours of the ingredients are drawn out.

7. serve in bowls.  top with tofu cubes and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.  serves 10 midget, 3 giant, or about 5 regular-sized tummies.

 

good eat!  ...or eat good! ?

the tofu burger

don't we all love burgers? who wouldn't want a plateful of burgers, mini-burgers?

ahm, but these mini-burgers aren't your regular hamburgers, made from 100% pure beef, they're tofu burgers made with immortal tofu (450 grams tofu)

plus these health-friendly and nutritious ingredients, mushrooms, nuts and spices; low in bad cholesterol and fats, high in protein and fiber.

1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup cashew or walnuts
1/2 cup sunflower nuts
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp soy sauce
1 Tbsp dijon mustard
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp fine salt
2 eggs or 100 g raw seitan (wheat gluten)* for vegans

ahm, i love doing things the old-fashioned way; mash the tofu with a manual masher, grind the nuts with a mortar and pestle, and chop down the mushrooms into fine smithereens. and then finally mixing the whole mashable conglomeration with your bare (yes, washed and clean) hands. this way you can feel the grainy pooey pass through your fingers, it's a bit like when you pick up a handful of wet dripping sand along the beach shore, only more gross.

yah, you could also do it dump-all-ingredients-in-the-food-processor-fashioned way, which is another (ahm, the original) way of getting it done.

ok, this is how the mashed tofu will look like after mashing.

and this is how the whole mass of grainy pooey will look like after about 5-10 minutes of hand-and-finger mixing.

what's left to do is to heat a griddle, or a flat frying pan, drop a patty ball (which you have formed by rolling the patty mass against your palms) onto the hot griddle, press it flat and round with a frying ladle, and grill it until it browns (for both sides.)

it's all up to you if you want to make mini-burgers, double-layer, triple-decker, or quarter-pounder burger sandwiches. or simply a salisbury steak with mushroom gravy, boiled green beans and mashed potatoes.

it's only your creativity that can limit the things you can do with the tofu burger :)))

* raw seitan (wheat gluten) - mix 250 grams of all-purpose (or bread) flour with 200 ml water. knead until the dough holds together (it might be a bit sticky, but it will do.) soak the dough in tap water for an hour or so (the water will look cloudy and whitish.) after this time, rinse the dough in tap water about two to three times or until the water runs clear. as you rinse the dough, continue kneading it with your hand and fingers to continue forming the gluten.