ginataang labong w/ saluyot

i’m back.  it’s good to be back on track.

for more than a year now i’ve left off my monkey diet-it’s not actually a diet because diets don’t work, it’s just a simple food program i’ve created-which is not really called monkey diet in the first place, but by a longer, much longer, name, ahm, needless to say.

it was about the time of year (last year, no, last, last year) when good friends are dear, the time of year when the world sincere ruins any and all attempts you make at keeping your weight in check and at par and you find everybody else agreeing with you (eventually, or so you’ve convinced yourself) that “it’s christmas and diets are suspended during christmas!”  well, at any rate, it’s good to be back on track, after more than a year’s leave not just from my diet-which-isn’t-a-diet but likewise from my taking pictures of the various foods i prepared at that time.  our point-and-shoot digicam broke!  at any rate, the people i live with (that would be my wife and 2-3 children-who-are-no-longer-children) now have phones that are equipped with cameras.  we also have a pet dog named “doorstopper” but probably, i guess, you’re not interested in that.

thanks to a friend of mine who said, “you’ve done it before, you can do it again!” 

this viand is a classic, or a variation of a classic dish (whatever that means.)  ginisang labong was a favourite of mine growing up.  my mom prepared this viand often as i still recall (it’s never easy to forget) that spine-chilling odorifarious grub fresh from the market (it’s fresh but it’s actually been chemically processed.)  but i don’t recall her cooking it ginataan, it was (as i recall) always ginisa-and never with saluyot because she isn’t a G.I.

stories abound (do they?) about the saluyot being the national plant or shrub (whatever) of ilocoslovakia.  i remember reading long before how the inimitable max soliven never so often mentions this in his editorials in the philippine star.  i read pdi nowadays.  anyway, the analogy goes something like this: the saluyot is a hardy plant, you can plant it anywhere and it thrives in any kind of soil against the most adverse conditions, just like the genuine ilocano, he can prosper anywhere in the world and in the most adverse economic conditions.  ahm, for the most part, that’s it.  mabuhay ang mga G.I.!

now, for our recipe you will be needing...

about 1/4 kilo labong (bamboo shoot)

saluyot (leaves) from about 6-10 stems

3/4-1 cup coconut cream, pure (kakang-gata)

2 cups coconut cream, diluted

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 medium onion, sliced or diced

1 thumb-size ginger, sliced or diced

1-2 red chili peppers, optional

100 grams whether pork, shrimp whatever (if you use)

salt or bagoong (or whatever flavoring you use)

some vinegar for boiling

here’s how: (this is assuming everything is washed and clean)

1. boil the labong in water with some vinegar (okay, about 2 tablespoons vinegar.)

2. drain.

3. combine the diluted coconut cream with the garlic, onion, ginger, pepper, pork (or whatever), salt (or whatever) in a saucepan.  bring to a boil.

4. add labong and bring to a boil.

5. add the saluyot and simmer until labong is tender to the bite.

6. adjust taste.

7. add the pure coconut cream (kakang-gata) and cook further  for 1 minute.

8. turn off heat.  mix and serve.

doorstopper

doorstopper.  that’s the name of our 4-month old female puppy.  curious and unusual name for a dog yeah?  yeah!  i’ve heard of curiouser names not just of dogs... but of people.

there’s a twin in our neighborhood named 'A' and 'B'.  ask me “who’s the older twin?” be my guest -- your guess is as good as mine! haha. 

then there’s 'zyrx' and 'xyzyx'.  these boys (zyrx is in college and xyzyx is now probably in grade school) are not related in any way except for the 3 letters of the alphabet their names have in common - letters one would wish was on his car’s license plate rather than on his birth certificate.

and there's my good friend 'magnificentus'...  the name’s not too curious, but it’s quite unusual...  and magnificent!

well uhm... about curious and unusual names of dogs, i don’t think i’ve encountered a name more curiouser than 'doorstopper'.  

doorstopper is a big dog.  she's a crossbreed. her mother is a black labrador and her father is (they say) a crossbreed between a rottweiler and a... crumpleface.  so doorstopper is half black labrador and half rottweiler-crumpleface.  but she got her looks from crumpleface.  so even if she's happy she looks sad.  :(  

uhm, if you crossbreed a tiger and a deer what would you get?  a full tiger!  full... got that... having eaten all it can of the deer, haha!

doorstopper was given to me by a good and liberal fil-chinese friend and his whole family.  yeah, his whole family -- his wife and four kids -- that’s right.  okay! okay! so i asked for the puppy!  uhm, our 7-month old dog 'hachiko' died, blah blah blah... and i didn't get to read the autopsy report, blah blah blah... of course there was no autopsy report, quasimodo! blah blah blah... and my two daughters and my wife were asking me how we could replace hachiko, blah blah blah... and their dog 'julianne' had just given birth to four puppies, blah blah blah... so the good family gave me a puppy.  

how could i forget that sunday afternoon when i came to their house to collect the puppy.  it was reminiscent of the olden days before the international airport was modernized into what it is now.  hordes of relatives and well-wishers waving their final goodbyes would throng the viewing deck from where the huge airplanes were just about a couple of hundred meters away, before they taxied and took off – not the relatives and well-wishers, quasimodo, the airplanes.

the whole family went out of their way, ahh, rather, out of their house to bid doorstopper farewell.  it was one of those parting moments, as shakespeare wrote, parting time is such sweet sorrow!  heartfelt and very touching – if only doorstopper had feelings!  oops! sorry!  i don’t want to hurt those who believe that dogs have feelings too like humans do.  if you believe dogs have feelings, go ahead, believe... fine.

i think daniel (the oldest son who’s 8 or 9 yrs old) felt the uneasiness of the dog being called doorstopper so he gave her an alternate name – snowy.  lovely!  if only his mother had not said, why name her snowy when she is so not white!  

uhm, how did she get the name doorstopper, in the first place?  i asked.  blah blah blah... their dog had four puppies, each assigned to a child (four kids remember?) in the family, blah blah blah.  this puppy belonged to the youngest son isaiah who is (i think) a year old, and who obviously could not give his puppy a name except probably 'dada' or 'waaaah!'  so to solve the apparent dilemma the family decided to name the puppy after isaiah’s favorite toy – a wedge-shaped rubber thing-a-ma-jig people insert in the gap between the door and the floor to keep the door open, or to keep the door from slamming on your face when a strong wind blows while you are entering the house – a doorstopper!

well, uhm... at least that's one criteria on how to name a nameless puppy that belongs to a one-year old child!

vegan chili

bongga!  yah, that’s the word.  bongga ka day! goes the (title and) refrain of a 1970’s song by the hot dogs, which in all probability thrust the term bongga! into currency and popular usage.  ahm, it’s use (then) is similar to the way the word sosyal! is used (now) - flashy, show-offy, flaunty, high profile, high brow lifestyle, or pa-style.

buhok mo’y budji, talampaka’y gucci, suot mo’y gawa ni pitoy, di nanggaling kay eloy, goes a line in the same song.  ahm, budji (for the uninitiated) is short for budjiwara, the hairdresser of manila’s haves - the elite; gucci, well, ahm, gucci is still around as a fashion icon; pitoy, well, ahm, pitoy moreno yah, he’s still around also as a fashion icon; but eloy, (for the uninitiated) ahm, eloy is eloy's, the buyer of used clothing; if you needed (extra) money, gather some used clothes and sell them at eloy’s.  ahm, but they also re-sell them second-hand, much like today’s ukay-ukay but slightly different.  so if you were bongga (then) the words from the song fit you, sosyal ka! ahm, in other words.

but then again, ahm, the spoken language is easily subjected to revision through the vicissitudes of social change.  bongga and sosyal (today – thanks to language anarchy) have taken on dimensions of expression such as exclamations of like, approval or excitement.  much like the word astig! or the more emphatic asteeeeg! which is often used as an exclamation of wonderful surprise, amazement and great approval, much in the same way that, ahm, cool! is used.  i once heard a reformed pastor, having preached about the wonderful grace of JESUS CHRIST, end his sermon – astig si LORD!   in the 1970’s an astig (tumbled from tigas) was either a tough guy or a bully – yah, never a wonderful surprise welcomed with great approval!

well, ahm, bongga! has taken another hit and struck a new chord and has just recently been subjected to its latest social revision.  bonggang-bongga! took on new meaning meaning thanks to miss universe 2010 4th runner-up miss venus raj-raj-raj. 

bonggang-bongga now (also) means MAJOR, MAJOR!

here’s what you major, major need: see that?

2 Tbsp olive oil

6 cloves garlic, crushed

1 large or 2 medium onions, chopped fine

3 red chili peppers, cut coarsely

1 can (450g) sliced mushrooms, drained

1 can (250 g) whole kernel corn, drained

500 g red kidney beans, cooked

2 pouches (200 g) tomato sauce

2 Tbsp light soy sauce

1 tsp chili powder

½ tsp italian herbs

¼ tsp cayenne

½ c water

salt and pepper

leeks, sliced coarsely

here’s what to do:

1- one night before, soak 250 g dried red kidney beans in a basin, in ample amount of water to allow for expansion.  (this will give you the equivalent of about 500 g of cooked red kidney beans that you will need for the recipe.)

2- the next morning, boil 1 – 1-1/2 liters of water in a pot.  when the water boils, add the red kidney beans.  boil and simmer for about 1 hour or so.  remove from heat and leave in the pot until it cools down.  drain.

in a stainless steel wok:

1- heat olive oil

2- saute garlic, onions and red chili peppers for a couple of minutes.  WARNING: exposure to or inhalation of chili pepper fumes may cause mild to severe irritation of the eyes, nostrils or lungs

3- add mushrooms and saute further

4- add soy sauce and saute further

5- add corn, kidney beans, tomato sauce and water and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally

6- add chili powder, italian herbs and cayenne

7- simmer in low heat for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally

8- add salt and pepper to suit your taste

9- serve in bowl or plate topped with sliced leeks

10- pour chilled cabernet on a glass and...

let’s drink to that!

ensaladang labanos

here's what you need:

2 pcs large or 500 g white radish (labanos)

1 large or 2 medium onions, chopped coarsely

1 medium or 2 Tbsp ginger, chopped finely

2 large or 3 medium tomato, sliced coarsely

1 red chili pepper, cut coarsely

6 kalamansi or 3 Tbsp kalamansi juice

2 Tbsp sugar, washed or brown

salt and pepper

rock salt

vinegar

here’s what to do:

the white radish.

1- peel radish  

2- slice lengthwise into paper-thin slices.  (you could use the peeler for this purpose, or if you have anything else by which to do the job, e.g. your husband)

3- rub sliced radish with rock salt and leave for a couple of minutes.  (5 minutes is still a couple of minutes if you ask me)

4- press out or wring off all the water (which has now come out) from the radish

5- soak the radish in vinegar, just enough to cover everything about 1/4 – 1/3 cup, for a couple of minutes.  this cold-cooks the radish

6- press out or wring off all the vinegar-wash from the radish

the ensalada.

1- loosen and disentangle the radish and place in a bowl

2- add onions, ginger, tomato and chili peppers

3- dissolve sugar in kalamansi juice, then add to radish mixture

4- toss together until well combined

5- add salt and pepper to suit your taste

6- serve on the side or top with fried immortal tofu

7- now, open a bottle of your favorite chilled fermented fruit, hops or malt beverage :)))

so, ahm, hope you enjoy the ride!

kilawing labanos w/ fried tofu

one of the reasons (i think) diets fail is because diets entail subjecting the mind and body to unbearable suffering through food deprivation.  ahm, it's sort of like punishing your mind and body.  and in some cases it borders on torture, self-torture.   yah, don't you just cherish the thought?  the thought of self-torture?  who in his right mind doesn't, eh?!  kamaan!

yah, and it's your mind and body, not just your body.  and it’s more of your mind than your body.  but, isn't dieting just for your body?, you might ask,  to lose weight and all, to take off all that flab and have a slimmer figure.   well, if that's all you think it is, better think again.  the hard-to-swallow-truth is: you are going on a diet because you have made up your mind!  but your body cries out, “eat!  eat!  eat!” and, boy-o-boy, do you love to eat!

ricky hatton takes a left hook to the jaw

it's like a left hook and a right uppercut.  one or both punches can knock you out!  and most of the time people give up - the fact that a person gives up makes it a matter of the mind, ahm, that is, unless you find your jaw on the receiving end of the glove of a certain manny “pacman” pacquiao, then it’s no longer a matter of the mind but, really, of the body, as ricky hatton *smack* found out, but that’s just about it; other than that, i think, a person’s giving up on a diet is much a matter of the mind than many failed dieters would admit.  and, ahm, refusing to admit it is a matter of the mind as well, which is more popularly known as “denial - most of the time people give up because they could no longer take the punishment, which was self-inflicted in the first place.

ricky hatton knocked-out by the left hook

others play a mentalist sleight-of-hand game by calling a diet a lifestyle change.  you may heave heard of the south beach lifestyle.  well, ahm, true, it is a lifestyle change - and a diet.  conventional wisdom says, “diets don’t work!” so go for a lifestyle change, which is nothing more or less than going on a diet, albeit, in a different size, shape and form, but no less, a diet.  i do not deceive or delude myself, as others happily do.  i am on a diet and a lifestyle change. 

the challenge in going on a successful diet and lifestyle change is in understanding its dynamics.  now for a better understanding of its dynamics, nah, joke...  but for the kilawing labanos...

you will need:

1 pc radish (approx 400-500 grams)

1 block tofu (approx 250-300 grams)

2 Tbsp oil (canola or olive)

2 Tbsp chopped ginger

3 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed

1 medium size onion, sliced

2 red chili peppers, cut coarsely

1/4 - 1/3 c water

3 Tbsp vinegar

2 Tbsp sugar, washed or brown

fish sauce (for pinoys and non-vegans)

salt and pepper

the tofu:

1- slice the tofu into medium rectangular blocks

2- deep fry in hot oil until golden brown

3- drain and cool a while

4- slice fried tofu into smaller rectangular pieces

the radish:

1- peel the radish.

2- slice thinly along a diagonal axis.

the kilawin:

1- saute ginger, garlic, onion and chili peppers in oil.  WARNING: exposure to or inhalation of chili pepper fumes may cause mild to severe irritation of the eyes, nostrils or lungs.

2- add fish sauce (optional for vegans, mandatory for pinoys), radish and tofu and saute for a couple of minutes

3- add water, vinegar and sugar and boil for a couple of minutes

4- add salt and pepper to suit your taste

5- remove from heat and serve with an ice cold bottle of your favorite frothy beverage

so, ahm, how about that?!

4 easy steps to homemade seitan

2-chili seitan shitake saute

seitan.  i dread how that sounds however you pronounce it.  it’s like voldemort.  ahm, anyway, seitan, which was more popularly known to us long, long ago as TVP (textured vegetable protein) and long ago as vege-meat, is referred to in vegan blogs sometimes as wheat meat, meat substitute, or vital gluten.  it is a very common meat substitute in many vegan recipes since it is believed to supply a good amount of protein which purportedly is lacking in a vegan diet.

i coined the tagalog word harne from harinang karne (wheat meat).  very suitable word, ano?  it is a phonetically softened down form of the harder guttural karne (animal meat).

ok, to make seitan, you will need:

½ kilo hard flour (bread flour)

½ tsp cumin

½ tsp paprika

¼ tsp cayenne

300-350 ml tap water

(this recipe will yield ¼ kilo seitan enough for a dish or two of stir-fry or saute w/ or w/o accompaniment.)

note:

- if you can buy vital gluten flour, or vital wheat flour, just follow easy steps #1 & #4. 

- all-purpose flour will do but it contains less protein.  it also absorbs less water, so reduce the amount of water by about 50-100 ml.

- whole wheat flour contains too little vital gluten so it isn’t ideal to use in making seitan.

ok, here goes...

easy step #1 - mix flour, spices and water. 

mix the flour, spices and water.  could anything be easier?  you could even ask your 3-year old child to do this step for you.  

use a wooden spoon (initially) to mix the flour and spices with the water.  as the mixture forms into a dough it gets heavier and harder to mix with the wooden spoon.  scrape everything that stuck to the wooden spoon with a spatula or rubber scraper back to the dough mixture. 

ok, time to use your hands and fingers.  massage (knead) the entire dough all round for about 3-5 minutes.  yah, it could be sticky.  note: if you have a heavy duty (e.g. 4qt, 5qt or 6qt) table-top electric mixer with a dough hook, like i do :))) just dump all the ingredients in the bowl and crank at low to medium speed for about a minute or two.  

ok, this is needless, but you could use some lard, margarine or oil on your hands so the dough won’t stick.  ahm, that was needless because you could rinse and drop all the dough that stuck to your hands right back to the mother dough, underwater.

go to easy step #2.

easy step #2 - soak the dough in water.  

place the dough in a deep bowl or basin, or a small gallon or pail (1-2 gallon capacity) and fill with water.  this step is for dummies!  leave it for a couple of hours and forget all about it for the meantime. 

no, it won’t froth and overflow the bowl and fill your house.  and no, it won’t climb out of the bowl and gobble up your dog and all your furniture. 

soaking in the water takes away the hi-carb starch from within the dough leaving you with the hi-pro gluten that you need.

go to easy step #3

easy step #3 - rinse the dough in water. 

before you throw the soak-water away, gently handle the dough (which has now softened into a gooey, slimy blubber gum) from the bottom of the basin with both hands, making sure that all the blob bits that have loosened away are reunited to the mother blob.  this is child’s play! 

pour out all the soak-water, making sure no more loose amorphous blobs pour out with the water.

now, fill up the basin again with water.  turn the gooey, slimy blubber gum inside out under water, gently pressing, rolling and stretching the blubber with your fingers and palms.  similar to what you do with bubble gum, chewing it with your teeth, rolling it in your mouth and stretching it with your tongue; only, you do this with your hands and fingers.  more fun and exciting than play-dough, right?!  you are now beginning to feel sleepy... ahm, where was i?  i mean, your are now beginning to feel how soft, smooth and elastic your gluten is.

repeat easy step #3 about 3-5 times or until the rinse-water becomes clear or slightly clear.  this is where you shape your future, ahm, i mean your seitan.  underwater.  wow!  could you really do that?  ahm, slowly and gently (at every repeat) bring the mass of blubber gum (less gooey and slimy now but still very elastic) to the shape you would want your seitan to take final form. 

seitan slabs (after simmering)

i shape my seitan like an elongated burger patty, ½ in. flat, 4 in. wide and a foot long (like a thin slab of sirloin beef) then cut it in the middle before simmering.  this way, after it’s done, i can easily slice it into strips for stir-fries and sautes. 

you see how much hi-carb starch you have removed from your dough?  i haven’t tried it yet, but this step had gotten me to thinking – can i use all that rinse-water to starch my levi’s?

go to easy step #4.

easy step #4 - simmer the dough in water. 

simmer the dough in, ahm, flavored water.  fill a saucepan with about 1 liter of water mixed with 1 Tbsp soy sauce, 1 Tbsp catsup and 1 clove garlic (and 1 Tbsp of whatever vegan-friendly powder or liquid flavoring you use.)  well, almost everybody who makes seitan and has a blog will invariably tell you to do this.  so why not i?  ok maybe not almost everybody, but almost everybody of the 3 blogs i read, awright?  :)))

bring the soup to a slow simmer using low heat.  now, gently lower the gluten slab in the simmering solution with your hands or with a slotted spoon.  simmer for about 5-15 minutes or until the gluten slab floats. 

will it float?  will it float?  yah, it will float!  and when it floats, your seitan’s done!  that easy! 

now, download a recipe that uses seitan and you’re on your way to an exciting adventure in seitan cooking!

about me

i am not a chef. this is the first thing i need to get across to whoever – accidentally or intentionally – reads or follows this blog.  i never took any course in culinary arts, fine arts, or theater arts, so you (probably) can identify with me. 

i am not a gourmet either.  whatever that is.  ok, i think i know what a gourmet is, just don’t ask me.  i remember when i was in school, in the good ole days of yore, i would slouch in my desk and hide behind the head of the person sitting in front of me, so that i would get out of sight of my teacher who was about to ask a question whose answer i didn’t know.  ahm, i didn’t know the answer to much of what my teachers would ask in class, except probably if it was in math.  math i was good at.  but, yah, just don’t ask me.  ahm, of course, these days all you hafta do is google-it any thing under the sun that you don’t know about, and then open your mouth and “say aah”. 

my friends

no, i just love to cook for myself, my wife and my kids, (yah, my friends too, who happen to drop by uninvited, self-invited or otherwise) and i needed to make a catalog of the various dishes i have prepared over the past few months.  it goes without saying, (yah, so dumb of me for still having to say it!) your memory is good, but the internet is better, coz... what you post in the internet, stays in the internet!  now, concerning the freedom of information bill, nah... joke!

although it is evident (i do not deny it) that i take pains to try to dress-up the dishes like chefs do, ahm, it is for the simple reason that i want them to look better for the picture taking, or like when people go to church or to a party, they dress up so they will look better, and their friends will praise them for looking so nice and lovely, and don’t they feel good about it?!  yah, that’s why they stay sooooo long in front of the mirror, or go to and fro, hither and thither, it’s a personal investment, which, yah, really pays off great dividends in the praises of friends and the glances of strangers. 

ok, here’s a tip.  don’t buy a mirror that makes you look wider.  buy a mirror that makes you look slimmer.

i’ve had no professional training in food arrangements or photography so the dishes don’t look as shiny and attractive as in food magazines, blogs or as when TV chefs do the arrangements.  

sometimes, i rush taking the photos for the simple reason that i am already too hungry to get a good shot.  besides that, i still need to hone my skills in using the various options in our point-and-shoot digicam, to get better quality shots; and in making-up the dishes to make them more visually attractive and appealing.

ahm, as you can see, the dishes i prepare are not high-end; most of the fresh ingredients i use come from the local public market and the others are readily available in the neighborhood supermarket.  a friend told me once that local and organic is best because it has a lower carbon footprint.  how about that, eh?  well, i go local and (if possible) organic merely for practical purposes, since they are more readily available to me.  ahm, from what i know the fresh vegetables they sell here in the public market in bulacan comes all the way either from pangasinan, nueva viscaya, or baguio.  only kangkong (water spinach,) pechay and malunggay (horseradish) are probably locally grown.  in fact, i just pick-off malunggay leaves from a tree at a vacant lot near our home.

ahm, in general, i would like to think of myself as an artisan.  i put my signature on the dishes i prepare.  yah, not with pen and ink, but with my own style or approach, my personal touch.  i think every artisan does that.

the tofu burger

so when i try out a recipe i like, i follow the instructions at first, then the next time i tweak it with my own personal touch, like when i added paprika (as suggested by a friend) on the tofu burger recipe i downloaded, and used 100 grams raw seitan instead of 2 eggs (to make it vegan,) and instead of dumping all the ingredients in the food processor, i went the old-fashioned way, mashing, pounding, and chopping the ingredients to suit my style.  i will be doing the same with jim’s veggie chili.

most of the recipes in this blog are vegan or vegetarian because i started writing this blog when i became a vegetarian, a month or so ago.  and because i am being hounded by well-meaning friends for recipes of the photos i post on my facebook account.